we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I intend to get homeless drunk
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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