At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
