awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize