He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
