You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
