whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
