my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
