Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
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currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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