Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
