Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
