just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
