The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
