Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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