just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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