I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
