remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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