hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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