Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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