bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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