You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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