i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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