just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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