Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
