We tried having a conversation with our noses.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
