Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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