Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
