just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
