Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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