You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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