I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
