You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
