One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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