Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock