Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your cock deserves a montage
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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