Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
