my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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