Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
