life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
