I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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