I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
