Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
