I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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