3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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