some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
