You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
