I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
