there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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