Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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