The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
