those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
