she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
