So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
