please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
