don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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