toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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