You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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