So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
