Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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