Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
