I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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