DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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