its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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