and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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